People find it hard (pun intended) to talk about sex. It’s rather ironic because we live in a society that is open about sex and uses it to sell anything from clothes to burgers or fishing equipment but when it comes to talking about our sexual relationships we tend to feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. This can start when we’re kids if we grew up in an environment where sex was taboo or frowned upon. It’s possible it can also develop later in life after we’ve had sex. If we’ve had bad sexual experiences we may be uncomfortable when dealing with the issue.
If your sex life is not where you want it to be then step back and ask yourself some questions. How long have you been feeling that way? Is it a new thing? Do you still love your partner? Have there been other issues that you’re avoiding?
The good news is that there are things you can do to bring the passion back into the bedroom and improve your sex life.
Rank your sex life
Rank your sex life on a scale of 1 to 10. Rank how interested in sex you are and how you feel about your partner. Then get your partner to do the same thing. You should both consider ranking the quality of the sex and who initiates sex more. If one partner is initiating sex more then rather than assuming they aren’t interested take a moment to ask them if there’s any reason. Be careful about how you approach the topic because the question may put them on the defence but it’s very important to communicate.
Empathise
Things brings us to the next thing you can do. See the other person’s point of view and understand where they are coming from. Don’t make assumptions and don’t judge them. Is there something that they are going through or have you recently rejected them? If so, imagine how you would feel if they did that to you. When you understand each other you can communicate and you are half way to improving your sex life. The key is to be honest, compassionate and that will help you problem solve.
Redefine what your ideal sex life is
What does the perfect sex look like to you? For some its having sex in a public place whereas for others it is having routine sex where everything is predictable. It’s important that you and your partner have a clear understanding of what your ideal sex is. By defining what the ideal sex is you can take steps to meet each other in the middle to have experiences that you both enjoy.
With these tips you should be on your way to restoring your libido and having a healthy sex life again.